5 “Police are supposed to protect us-we depend on them,” she says, but that’s often not the lived experience of people of color. Freyd points to police brutality as an example. “Populations dependent on others, such as children and the elderly, are more likely to experience betrayal,” says Freyd.Ĭommunities of color are at greater risk of institutional betrayal trauma because they’re less likely to feel supported. 4 Risk factorsĬertain groups are more vulnerable to betrayal trauma. “So those negative emotions start leaking out and may show up as increased anxiety, depression, or PTSD.” According to one study, there’s a connection between betrayal denial and borderline personality disorder as well. “It’s hard to pretend everything is okay, especially for adults,” Freyd says. Repressing a betrayal may be a protective factor in some circumstances, but it can also put your mental health at risk. People can name and push back against a betrayal from the start, or they can block it out at first and acknowledge it later. “It lets you stay in a relationship that you really need,” says Freyd.ĭenial is often a component of betrayal trauma, but it’s not a requirement. 3 In these cases, forgetting or blocking out the betrayal serves an important function. Research has shown that the closer a victim is to a perpetrator, the higher their risk of anxiety, suicidality, and anger. “So being able to block out the betrayal might be very advantageous.” This can also apply to relationships where victims are financially or emotionally dependent on their abusers.īetrayal denial is frequently subconscious, as in the child and parent relationship, but Freyd says it can be a conscious decision and a protective choice. “If you think about a child who’s being abused by a parent, that child can’t afford to alienate the parent because their whole life depends on the care they’re getting,” she explains. “I was really curious as to how or why some people would seemingly forget the traumatic thing that happened to them,” Freyd says, “and I noticed it was happening often when there was a relationship between the abuser and the abused.”įreyd also realized that, under some circumstances, recognizing betrayal may threaten the victim’s survival. She coined the term “betrayal trauma” in response to a question she’d spent many years trying to answer. One of the key characteristics of this type of trauma is “ betrayal blindness” (we’ll use “denial” here), which Freyd describes as the “unawareness, not-knowing, and forgetting” someone might exhibit around a betrayal. Interpersonal betrayal involves friends or coworkers who violate your trust in some way, such as ghosting you or spreading a rumor about you. Romantic betrayal happens when a romantic partner is unfaithful or otherwise behaves harmfully (for example, abusing drugs without your knowledge). Children typically depend on a parent for survival, so familial betrayal can be especially damaging. Freyd offers the example of a government that doesn’t protect the rights of marginalized communities, or that responds too slowly (or not at all) to a natural disaster.įamilial betrayal can involve child abuse or other similar traumas. Institutional betrayal happens when a person is harmed by an institution they depend on. It can lead to a number of symptoms, including:īetrayal is often associated with being hurt by a romantic partner, but betrayal trauma can come from other sources as well. Trauma can happen at the hands of a stranger, but betrayal trauma requires a significant relationship between the perpetrator and the victim. What is betrayal trauma?įirst defined by Jennifer Freyd, PhD, in 1991, betrayal trauma occurs when someone’s trust or well-being is violated by an institution or person they depend on for physical, emotional, or financial security. But even those who can leave have to work through a range of consequences for their mental health. How can you possibly move on?įor some, setting the betrayal aside and staying put is a matter of survival. If you’re financially and emotionally dependent on the person who betrayed you, those feelings may run even deeper. You may not be in physical danger, but your fear and anguish can feel just as powerful. Whether you find out through a phone call, a note, a receipt, or any other way, it means the sudden implosion of everything you thought you knew. Imagine discovering one day that your spouse has been living a double life. Share this article on Facebook Share this article on Twitter Share this article on LinkedIn Share this article on Messenger Share this article in email Copy the link to this article Print this article
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